Loved​/​Dark

by Alison May

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credits

released 29 July 2014

Vocals, Guitars, Drums, Piano: Alison May
Bass: Michael Jude
Electric Guitars on "The Fountain": Lester Price, Sean Nanos
Vibraphone: George Weber
Engineered by Jeff Price
Produced by Jeff Price, Sean Price, Alison May
Mixed and Mastered by Jeff Price, Sean Price
Recorded in Carbondale, CO at Misery Loves Co. Studios

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Track Name: My Own Good
Am I the daughter of a boy unloved
Who could not be consoled
Connected only by our crimes, unsolved
There’s a story untold

It’s all for my own good
It’s all for my own good

No evidence has been destroyed
Although, there’s a mystery that has gone cold
And I won’t dare to ask you why
Though you know
As my progress will unfold

It’s all for my own good
It’s all for my own good
Paralyzed, but I look alive, just like you think I should
‘Cause it’s all for my own good
Track Name: Helen
Helen died, hours before she was to be breathing
All her things placed inside a storage unit
Everyone had so been looking forward
To a moment they would try not to remember

Matthew stared, hands were folded so tight, bleeding
A compost glare indicates who marred her breeding
While everyone kept their eyes straight forward
Like the news that was so hard to deliver

Though I know the secret to move forward
There are memories I can not afford to surrender
Track Name: On Going
Yes, I’m aware that my home is burning
But, I will rearrange the sofas anyway
To appear as though I’ve had company

I’ll sit down in the middle of the hallway
And I will stay there as long as it takes
’Til I’ve become somebody else entirely

Here’s the fence that’s wide dividing
Could it be worth the climb?
The away’s been long awaiting
I can’t guess who will know me for always
’Til I start wearing glasses, let my hair go grey
And I’m done making any memories

I only keep all the worst of the best ones
In order to maintain some sort of shallow ground
On which I’m neither saved nor left to drown

Here’s the fence that’s wide dividing
Could it be worth the climb?
The away’s been long awaiting
Track Name: Bad Timing
If I still love you this much in the after
Or I still wonder
Where we would be if I had stayed ’til August
Clear through the sawdust
Tell me I’m a fool

I still think of us when we’re much older
Long missed each other
Time has passed enough for us to let go
Of all but the unknown
And I’m long over you

These scars on my hand now are just a tattoo
Always reminding of you
Both can’t be removed
Track Name: Ophelia
In the time it took for me to say I’ve lost
I had been gaining all I needed to reprise
A spirit fallen long ago
Call it the makeup of a greater man’s disguise

The brightest star he made
Soon would fall
It’s not the last to go

There’s an evil place I’m dragged to when it’s slow
Call it a theatre. I’m the phantom by the closed
Curtain that won’t reveal the source
Of all of this tension
I’m the parasite and host

The brightest star he made
Soon would fall
It’s not the last to go

I’ve made my bed now
Track Name: Jon
I had not been followed
The rain started coming down loud

A crack ran down the light post
Lose power when it tumbles down

The running should start now

I met a man named Jon
Only three letters in his name

His skin was like the earth tone
His eyes made me feel afraid
But, he was my final friend

Somehow, I don’t feel let down
Mostly, I’m afraid

That I can not be followed
I’m going to the other side now

Inside something once hollow
No one can hear my shouts
But, still, I feel so loud

Somehow, I don’t feel let down
Mostly, I’m afraid
Track Name: Misplaced
I have been searching for a place to call my own
It should be one more stone’s throw away
Say I won’t be misplaced

I have been told one too many time’s that I was wrong
Or that I don’t belong to the near
Say you’re on my side here

It’s over now
No one’s waiting
You weed me out
But, I won’t be the first to let go

I have spent one too many night’s drinking alone
Thinking I should have gone away with you last year
Will I spend my life here

It’s over now
No one’s waiting
You weed me out
But, I won’t be the first to let go
Track Name: Loved/Dark
Yes, I regret the words I never said to you
Not because they were unspoken, but in my heart
I have made little attempt to cease these daydreams
They are something like my coffees in the park
Loved as they are dark

I lay my head on someone new, and feel my heart sink
As I fail to recreate some sort of spark
I cast a smile with no return, and start to miss you
Like I miss my mornings spent in Meadowlark
Loved as they were dark

To say rehabilitate sounds so drastic
And to say I’ve moved along sounds all too harsh
Though these lies will go untold, I still feel an impostor
Like the spiders stowed away on Noah’s Ark
Loved as they were dark
Track Name: Raft
I will go down first
I have rehearsed for such catastrophes
I will owe this rope
What little hope that I have left in me

Whatever’s left in me

Yeah, that was the night that you blacked out
‘Cause I didn’t give to you my seat
Well, I made a vow that I’d leave town if you ever made it back to the beach
One of us has got to sink

I could work the earth
A little dirt
I’ll learn to shuck the grain
Then I’ll take my corn, and in the morn’,
I’ll pay the crows to say

Keep out
It’s her land now and she’ll fire if you move your feet
Yeah, I made a vow that I’d leave town
If you ever came looking for me
One of us has got to sink

I will float
Like Noah and his goats
Until the rainbow came

The colors stayed the same

Yeah, that was the night that I blacked out
‘Cause I didn’t give to you my seat
Well, I heard a sound and you got out
Just in time to have a look at me

You were standing on the beach
Track Name: The Fountain
Your heart is a knife
That pokes my soul
And I should go
Before it starts to stab through

Yes, you have been waiting a long while
But, so have I

Who is entitled
To take the dog
She was lost
And, Lord knows, you never found nothin’

Tell me you’ve been searching far and wide
But, so have I

Go hide in the bathroom
And carve yourself to sleep
I would not weep for you

Your heart was the fountain
And mine was just the coin
That could not sink
Into you

Yes, you will be walking a long while
But, so will I
Track Name: 10x2
I can not explain
Why out of ten by two I was the only one to take the blame
When you cried

I’m not allowed to sigh
I only hold my breath and feel the glaze slowly cover my eyes
While you drive
Not trying to let go

Of hands around my neck
Knowing mercy only comes from someone else instead
Dear Christ

I will try to fight
Though it’s highly likely I will die this way
Without a light inside

But, I’m trying to let go

I’ve made a habit of
Holding on to those I find myself the least able to love
Without price

But, I’m trying to let go
Yes, I’m trying to let go

I can not explain
Why out of ten by two I was the only one to blame
When you cried